Fingerprint

Before Matthew was born, I found this picture of a necklace made of a baby's fingerprint and my heart was sold on having one made with Matthew's fingerprint.

We found a jeweler and they told us to get some non-drying clay (Sculpy) and get his print after he was born.  They would cast a mold from the clay and made the pendant out of gold. 

Matthews little fingers were so so tiny that no one would ever know that my pendant is of a fingerprint, but it is so so precious and I can't wait to wear it every day when it is done next week (picture of my necklace to come).

Here is a picture of Ry trying to get his fingerprint.  Focused.

3

Today is my little honey bun's three-month birthday.  Happy birthday, son!  Your daddy and I love you so much and can't wait to cuddle you again.  We are still completely enamored by you!

God continues to amaze us by extending more grace and peace to us than is comprehensible.  All glory to God for the way we have been able to walk through this past year without falling apart.  Without Him, we would be a wreck, full of pain and fear of loosing another child in the future.

Ryan and I were reflecting on my pregnancy with Matthew yesterday.  My first craving was chocolate donuts, then Chipotle, then hard boiled eggs.  Eventually, it was all protien and fruit.  All I wanted was meat (and a side of grapes). 

I was remembering the first time I felt Matthew move.  I was 17 weeks pregnant (exactly) and sitting at my desk as the sun was rising.  I felt this bubbly/popcorn-popping feeling and nearly jumped off my chair.   I walked around and felt it again and my heart swelled when I realized that I was probably feeling our sweet baby move (something that doctors didn't know if I would ever experience).  Our God is able.

I think it was February when we went cross country skiing up north with Ryan's family.  By this time, Matthew's head had been lodged in my pelvis for weeks.  It was pretty painful, but I was still able to do most things.  I skiied for a while and the pain became fairly intense.  By the end of the run, I was nearly in tears and had a hard time walking/sitting/standing.  I was in so much pain, I told Ryan that I thought he needed to shake me upside-down to try and loosen Matthew's head from my pelvis.  I was joking, but Ryan said we should try.  So (and I'm not joking), Ry picked me up by my ankles and shook me.  We were laughing so hard, he probably almost dropped me.  It didn't work, but it was a great memory...

Sometimes I get the question, "Was it hard to be pregnant for so long knowing your baby was going to die?"  Yes.  There were times when I wished God would just take our baby home sooner rather than later, but I am so thankful he didn't.  I cherish the time we had and am sooo thankful we got to meet Matthew alive. 

We know he is whole now, and without pain or deformity.  Praise God from whom all blessings flow.